Mariam was familiar with comfort, but everything shifted when she relocated to the UK.
The Nigerian experience encompasses physical, emotional, and occasionally international aspects. No one understands this better than our features on TheAbroadLife, a series that delves into and highlights Nigerian experiences while living overseas.
Where are you living now, and when did you leave Nigeria?
I currently reside in the UK, having left Nigeria two years ago.
When did the idea of leaving the country become a possibility for you?
It was a spontaneous decision. My parents felt it was time to move. I was in my first year of university when they began making arrangements. They wanted us to leave as soon as possible for my sake.
Why was that?
They didn’t want me to continue my education in Nigeria. I was still a freshman, preparing for my first semester exams, when my mom called me one night after class to inform me that they had booked my flight.
That’s intriguing. How has life been since your move?
It started off quite challenging. We expected to find jobs and housing right away due to the route my parents took, but that didn’t happen. Luckily, we had family members to stay with.
We were a family of five living with a family of three in a one-bedroom apartment, which highlighted how stranded we felt. This experience made me realize that moving abroad isn’t as glamorous as many portray it to be. My parents had friends who had gone through a similar journey; they were promised a bright future but faced the same disappointments. They didn’t share their struggles in Nigeria, suffering in silence while waiting for others to experience it for themselves.
What was it like living under those conditions?
Initially, it was manageable. People tend to be welcoming to newcomers, but misunderstandings still arise.
There were times when my siblings and I went hungry to avoid bothering the family we were staying with. My parents were always out looking for jobs, yet we couldn’t even afford snacks.
It felt as if we had traded a comfortable life in Lagos for harsh conditions in the UK. At that point, we all regretted the move. Back home, people had high expectations of us because we were abroad, but the reality is that suffering abroad can be hard to detect since the system is somewhat supportive. You can look good in pictures even while struggling.
Can you describe your life in Nigeria?
We were a middle-class family and quite comfortable. My parents could provide for us, and we didn’t face struggles like we did when we first arrived in the UK. We could afford what we wanted, including vacations abroad.
Do you know why your parents decided to leave Nigeria?
They didn’t have specific reasons since they traveled frequently for leisure. My mom was the main advocate for the move, driven by concerns for her children’s future. As her first child, she had long-term plans for me.
My dad worked for a multinational company in Nigeria and saw many of his friends’ children graduate only to struggle finding good jobs. My mom wanted to ensure I wouldn’t end up in that situation.
How does life now compare to when you first moved?
It has improved dramatically. Things eventually fell into place with the help of faith. We now have our own apartment.
I remember moving in at midnight, carrying our boxes on our heads. For the first few weeks, we had to sleep on our clothes since the apartment was unfurnished. It was a tough adjustment.
In Nigeria, my parents were landlords, so watching them rebuild their lives from scratch was humbling. It made me realize how quickly circumstances can change. Our quality of life has significantly improved; I even quit my job last month because I felt comfortable enough to do so.
Are you back in school now?
My siblings were able to start their education in the UK without much hassle, but I faced challenges.
I had the option to either retake my General Certificate of Secondary Education (GCSE) or take the Confirmation of Acceptance for Studies (CAS) exam since my secondary school results weren’t recognized.
If I had chosen to retake the GCSE, I would have been in the same class as my younger sibling, which was difficult to accept. It was hard to face going back academically about three years.
Fortunately, I met someone who helped me navigate the situation. The school I was applying to didn’t recognize my results, but many other schools were more accommodating to immigrants. If I hadn’t reached out to him, I don’t know where I’d be academically now. I eventually got into college after a year of waiting and I’m currently in my second year. It’s been a fantastic experience; I received a scholarship, made new friends, and I’ve been assisting other immigrants facing similar academic challenges.
Would you say you prefer life in the UK over your life in Nigeria?
I definitely appreciate the systems and structures in the UK more than those in Nigeria. I particularly admire the UK education system because you can see the results of your hard work. The quality of life is better here, but there are downsides—despite having numerous opportunities, you can still feel unhappy, whereas in Nigeria, you can be yourself and feel accepted.
Moving here made me aware of the different layers of identity I had to navigate. I realized I was a black Muslim woman and had to identify instances of racism. I’ve had experiences I’d rather not relive.
In summary, the UK provides many opportunities, while Nigeria offers peace of mind, happiness, and family connections. My long-term goal is to build my life here and eventually return to Nigeria—that’s how strongly I feel about it.
On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you living abroad?
I’m grateful. That’s all I can say.Interview Transcript
Where are you living now, and when did you leave Nigeria?
I currently reside in the UK, having left Nigeria two years ago.
When did the idea of leaving the country become a possibility for you?
It was a spontaneous decision. My parents felt it was time to move. I was in my first year of university when they began making arrangements. They wanted us to leave as soon as possible for my sake.
Why was that?
They didn’t want me to continue my education in Nigeria. I was still a freshman, preparing for my first semester exams, when my mom called me one night after class to inform me that they had booked my flight.
That’s intriguing. How has life been since your move?
It started off quite challenging. We expected to find jobs and housing right away due to the route my parents took, but that didn’t happen. Luckily, we had family members to stay with.
We were a family of five living with a family of three in a one-bedroom apartment, which highlighted how stranded we felt. This experience made me realize that moving abroad isn’t as glamorous as many portray it to be. My parents had friends who had gone through a similar journey; they were promised a bright future but ended up facing the same disappointments we did. They didn’t share their struggles in Nigeria, suffering in silence while waiting for others to experience it for themselves.
What was it like living under those conditions?
Initially, it was manageable. People tend to be welcoming to newcomers, but misunderstandings still arose.
There were times when my siblings and I went hungry to avoid bothering the family we were staying with. My parents were always out looking for jobs, yet we couldn’t even afford snacks.
It felt as if we had traded a comfortable life in Lagos for harsh conditions in the UK. At that point, we all regretted the move. Back home, people had high expectations of us because we were abroad, but the reality is that suffering abroad can be hard to detect since the system is somewhat supportive. You can look good in pictures even while struggling.
Can you describe your life in Nigeria?
We were a middle-class family and quite comfortable. My parents could provide for us, and we didn’t face struggles like we did when we first arrived in the UK. We could afford what we wanted, including vacations abroad.
Do you know why your parents decided to leave Nigeria?
They didn’t have specific reasons since they traveled frequently for leisure. My mom was the main advocate for the move, driven by concerns for her children’s future. As her first child, she had long-term plans for me.
My dad worked for a multinational company in Nigeria and saw many of his friends’ children graduate only to struggle finding good jobs. My mom wanted to ensure I wouldn’t end up in that situation.
How does life now compare to when you first moved?
It has improved dramatically. Things eventually fell into place with the help of faith. We now have our own apartment.
I remember moving in at midnight, carrying our boxes on our heads. For the first few weeks, we had to sleep on our clothes since the apartment was unfurnished. It was a tough adjustment.
In Nigeria, my parents were landlords, so watching them rebuild their lives from scratch was humbling. It made me realize how quickly circumstances can change. Our quality of life has significantly improved; I even quit my job last month because I felt comfortable enough to do so.
Are you back in school now?
My siblings were able to start their education in the UK without much hassle, but I faced challenges.
I had the option to either retake my General Certificate of Secondary Education (GCSE) or take the Confirmation of Acceptance for Studies (CAS) exam since my secondary school results weren’t recognized.
If I had chosen to retake the GCSE, I would have been in the same class as my younger sibling, which was difficult to accept. It was hard to face going back academically about three years.
Fortunately, I met someone who helped me navigate the situation. The school I was applying to didn’t recognize my results, but many other schools were more accommodating to immigrants. If I hadn’t reached out to him, I don’t know where I’d be academically now. I eventually got into college after a year of waiting and I’m currently in my second year. It’s been a fantastic experience; I received a scholarship, made new friends, and I’ve been assisting other immigrants facing similar academic challenges.
Would you say you prefer life in the UK over your life in Nigeria?
I definitely appreciate the systems and structures in the UK more than those in Nigeria. I particularly admire the UK education system because you can see the results of your hard work. The quality of life is better here, but there are downsides—despite having numerous opportunities, you can still feel unhappy, whereas in Nigeria, you can be yourself and feel accepted.
Moving here made me aware of the different layers of identity I had to navigate. I realized I was a black Muslim woman and had to identify instances of racism. I’ve had experiences I’d rather not relive.
In summary, the UK provides many opportunities, while Nigeria offers peace of mind, happiness, and family connections. My long-term goal is to build my life here and eventually return to Nigeria—that’s how strongly I feel about it.
On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you living abroad?
I’m grateful. That’s all I can say.Interview Transcript
Where are you living now, and when did you leave Nigeria?
I currently reside in the UK, having left Nigeria two years ago.
When did the idea of leaving the country become a possibility for you?
It was a spontaneous decision. My parents felt it was time to move. I was in my first year of university when they began making arrangements. They wanted us to leave as soon as possible for my sake.
Why was that?
They didn’t want me to continue my education in Nigeria. I was still a freshman, preparing for my first semester exams, when my mom called me one night after class to inform me that they had booked my flight.
That’s intriguing. How has life been since your move?
It started off quite challenging. We expected to find jobs and housing right away due to the route my parents took, but that didn’t happen. Luckily, we had family members to stay with.
We were a family of five living with a family of three in a one-bedroom apartment, which highlighted how stranded we felt. This experience made me realize that moving abroad isn’t as glamorous as many portray it to be. My parents had friends who had gone through a similar journey; they were promised a bright future but ended up facing the same disappointments we did. They didn’t share their struggles in Nigeria, suffering in silence while waiting for others to experience it for themselves.
What was it like living under those conditions?
Initially, it was manageable. People tend to be welcoming to newcomers, but misunderstandings still arose.
There were times when my siblings and I went hungry to avoid bothering the family we were staying with. My parents were always out looking for jobs, yet we couldn’t even afford snacks.
It felt as if we had traded a comfortable life in Lagos for harsh conditions in the UK. At that point, we all regretted the move. Back home, people had high expectations of us because we were abroad, but the reality is that suffering abroad can be hard to detect since the system is somewhat supportive. You can look good in pictures even while struggling.
Can you describe your life in Nigeria?
We were a middle-class family and quite comfortable. My parents could provide for us, and we didn’t face struggles like we did when we first arrived in the UK. We could afford what we wanted, including vacations abroad.
Do you know why your parents decided to leave Nigeria?
They didn’t have specific reasons since they traveled frequently for leisure. My mom was the main advocate for the move, driven by concerns for her children’s future. As her first child, she had long-term plans for me.
My dad worked for a multinational company in Nigeria and saw many of his friends’ children graduate only to struggle finding good jobs. My mom wanted to ensure I wouldn’t end up in that situation.
How does life now compare to when you first moved?
It has improved dramatically. Things eventually fell into place with the help of faith. We now have our own apartment.
I remember moving in at midnight, carrying our boxes on our heads. For the first few weeks, we had to sleep on our clothes since the apartment was unfurnished. It was a tough adjustment.
In Nigeria, my parents were landlords, so watching them rebuild their lives from scratch was humbling. It made me realize how quickly circumstances can change. Our quality of life has significantly improved; I even quit my job last month because I felt comfortable enough to do so.
Are you back in school now?
My siblings were able to start their education in the UK without much hassle, but I faced challenges.
I had the option to either retake my General Certificate of Secondary Education (GCSE) or take the Confirmation of Acceptance for Studies (CAS) exam since my secondary school results weren’t recognized.
If I had chosen to retake the GCSE, I would have been in the same class as my younger sibling, which was difficult to accept. It was hard to face going back academically about three years.
Fortunately, I met someone who helped me navigate the situation. The school I was applying to didn’t recognize my results, but many other schools were more accommodating to immigrants. If I hadn’t reached out to him, I don’t know where I’d be academically now. I eventually got into college after a year of waiting and I’m currently in my second year. It’s been a fantastic experience; I received a scholarship, made new friends, and I’ve been assisting other immigrants facing similar academic challenges.
Would you say you prefer life in the UK over your life in Nigeria?
I definitely appreciate the systems and structures in the UK more than those in Nigeria. I particularly admire the UK education system because you can see the results of your hard work. The quality of life is better here, but there are downsides—despite having numerous opportunities, you can still feel unhappy, whereas in Nigeria, you can be yourself and feel accepted.
Moving here made me aware of the different layers of identity I had to navigate. I realized I was a black Muslim woman and had to identify instances of racism. I’ve had experiences I’d rather not relive.
In summary, the UK provides many opportunities, while Nigeria offers peace of mind, happiness, and family connections. My long-term goal is to build my life here and eventually return to Nigeria—that’s how strongly I feel about it.
On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you living abroad?
I’m grateful. That’s all I can say.Interview Transcript
Where are you living now, and when did you leave Nigeria?
I currently reside in the UK, having left Nigeria two years ago.
When did the idea of leaving the country become a possibility for you?
It was a spontaneous decision. My parents felt it was time to move. I was in my first year of university when they began making arrangements. They wanted us to leave as soon as possible for my sake.
Why was that?
They didn’t want me to continue my education in Nigeria. I was still a freshman, preparing for my first semester exams, when my mom called me one night after class to inform me that they had booked my flight.
That’s intriguing. How has life been since your move?
It started off quite challenging. We expected to find jobs and housing right away due to the route my parents took, but that didn’t happen. Luckily, we had family members to stay with.
We were a family of five living with a family of three in a one-bedroom apartment, which highlighted how stranded we felt. This experience made me realize that moving abroad isn’t as glamorous as many portray it to be. My parents had friends who had gone through a similar journey; they were promised a bright future but ended up facing the same disappointments we did. They didn’t share their struggles in Nigeria, suffering in silence while waiting for others to experience it for themselves.
What was it like living under those conditions?
Initially, it was manageable. People tend to be welcoming to newcomers, but misunderstandings still arose.
There were times when my siblings and I went hungry to avoid bothering the family we were staying with. My parents were always out looking for jobs, yet we couldn’t even afford snacks.
It felt as if we had traded a comfortable life in Lagos for harsh conditions in the UK. At that point, we all regretted the move. Back home, people had high expectations of us because we were abroad, but the reality is that suffering abroad can be hard to detect since the system is somewhat supportive. You can look good in pictures even while struggling.
Can you describe your life in Nigeria?
We were a middle-class family and quite comfortable. My parents could provide for us, and we didn’t face struggles like we did when we first arrived in the UK. We could afford what we wanted, including vacations abroad.
Do you know why your parents decided to leave Nigeria?
They didn’t have specific reasons since they traveled frequently for leisure. My mom was the main advocate for the move, driven by concerns for her children’s future. As her first child, she had long-term plans for me.
My dad worked for a multinational company in Nigeria and saw many of his friends’ children graduate only to struggle finding good jobs. My mom wanted to ensure I wouldn’t end up in that situation.
How does life now compare to when you first moved?
It has improved dramatically. Things eventually fell into place with the help of faith. We now have our own apartment.
I remember moving in at midnight, carrying our boxes on our heads. For the first few weeks, we had to sleep on our clothes since the apartment was unfurnished. It was a tough adjustment.
In Nigeria, my parents were landlords, so watching them rebuild their lives from scratch was humbling. It made me realize how quickly circumstances can change. Our quality of life has significantly improved; I even quit my job last month because I felt comfortable enough to do so.
Are you back in school now?
My siblings were able to start their education in the UK without much hassle, but I faced challenges.
I had the option to either retake my General Certificate of Secondary Education (GCSE) or take the Confirmation of Acceptance for Studies (CAS) exam since my secondary school results weren’t recognized.
If I had chosen to retake the GCSE, I would have been in the same class as my younger sibling, which was difficult to accept. It was hard to face going back academically about three years.
Fortunately, I met someone who helped me navigate the situation. The school I was applying to didn’t recognize my results, but many other schools were more accommodating to immigrants. If I hadn’t reached out to him, I don’t know where I’d be academically now. I eventually got into college after a year of waiting and I’m currently in my second year. It’s been a fantastic experience; I received a scholarship, made new friends, and I’ve been assisting other immigrants facing similar academic challenges.
Would you say you prefer life in the UK over your life in Nigeria?
I definitely appreciate the systems and structures in the UK more than those in Nigeria. I particularly admire the UK education system because you can see the results of your hard work. The quality of life is better here, but there are downsides—despite having numerous opportunities, you can still feel unhappy, whereas in Nigeria, you can be yourself and feel accepted.
Moving here made me aware of the different layers of identity I had to navigate. I realized I was a black Muslim woman and had to identify instances of racism. I’ve had experiences I’d rather not relive.
In summary, the UK provides many opportunities, while Nigeria offers peace of mind, happiness, and family connections. My long-term goal is to build my life here and eventually return to Nigeria—that’s how strongly I feel about it.
On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you living abroad?
I’m grateful. That’s all I can say.
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