Reclining & Armrest Etiquette
Reclining We’ve all been there—trapped in a metal tube hurtling through the sky at over 500mph (804km/h), silently fuming as the person next to us hogs the armrest.
Or frustrated by the window-seat passenger constantly getting up to use the restroom, or the person in front who suddenly reclines their seat, crushing our knees.
With about half of UK households flying annually, in-flight etiquette remains a common source of irritation.
Just this week, a Hong Kong couple was banned by Cathay Pacific after a dispute over a reclined seat escalated.
So, how can we avoid annoying our fellow passengers?
Should You Recline Your Seat or Not?
Reclining your seat on a long-haul flight can be frustrating, but it seems to bother Brits and Americans differently.
A 2023 Skyscanner survey found that 40% of people in the UK find it annoying, while a YouGov survey suggested that only 25% of Americans see it as unacceptable.
Regardless of the numbers, reclining seats can cause real issues, says former flight attendant Charmaine Davies, who notes that cabin crew sometimes have to intervene when tensions rise between passengers.
The root problem, according to UCLA professor Jim Salzman, is how airlines have crammed more seats into planes, leaving passengers with less space than before. This leads to passengers blaming each other for bad behavior instead of the airlines responsible for the cramped seating.
Etiquette expert William Hanson advises choosing the right time to recline—never during a meal—and being mindful of the person behind you. Check if they’re using the tray table or a laptop, and recline your seat slowly. If you’re unsure, simply talk to your fellow passenger—don’t expect them to read your mind.
Hogging the armrest
Another common complaint on planes is when someone hogs both armrests, leaving others without space.
Mary, a flight attendant for a major US airline, often finds herself stuck in the middle seat between “two guys with both their arms on the armrests” when she’s being transferred for work and can’t choose her seat.
According to a 2023 Skyscanner survey, nearly a third of UK passengers found this behavior frustrating.
Mary admits she’s had her share of “elbow battles,” but has a trick to reclaim her space: “I wait until they reach for a drink, then I take the armrest. One guy tried to push my arm back, and I just gave him a look, like, ‘Not today.'”
Etiquette expert William Hanson suggests resolving armrest issues by treating them as “elbow rests” and learning to share.
Toilet etiquette
Many of us have faced the awkward situation of needing to use the toilet while sitting in a window seat, only to find the person next to us fast asleep.
Do you wake them up, or try to climb over them?
According to a YouGov survey, more than half of Americans find climbing over someone to use the toilet unacceptable.
Etiquette expert William Hanson, who usually takes the aisle seat, says he tells the person next to him it’s fine to wake him up or climb over if needed before he falls asleep.
If you’re in the middle or window seat, Hanson advises gently letting the aisle passenger know you need to pass, but keep in mind there may be a language barrier.
Alcohol can also make passengers need to visit the toilet more frequently. Zoe, a former Virgin Atlantic flight attendant, recalls a flight to Ibiza where many passengers had been drinking in the airport. As soon as the seatbelt light turned off, “everyone stood up” and rushed to queue for the toilet. Some became aggressive, forcing the crew to turn the seatbelt sign back on.
Unfortunately, one passenger couldn’t wait and had to relieve himself in a carrier bag, using swim shorts to soak it up, says Zoe.
Standing up
About a third of Brits find it annoying when people stand up as soon as the plane lands, according to a Skyscanner survey.
“Just stay in your seat,” says former flight attendant Ms. Davies. “There’s no point in jumping up because you’re not going anywhere.”
It usually takes the ground crew several minutes to set up the passenger boarding bridge or put the stairs in place. Even after that, if you have checked baggage, you’ll still have to wait for it to arrive at the carousel, no matter how quickly you get off the plane.
Etiquette expert Mr. Hanson acknowledges that wanting to get up and stretch your legs is perfectly fine, and some people might just feel a bit anxious about being on a plane. However, he finds it “faintly comical” when everyone stands up at once and then just “stands there like a lemon.”
How can we get along?
Other common annoyances for air travelers include people jumping queues, using phones or devices without headphones, letting long hair hang over the backs of seats, and removing shoes or socks on a plane.
If you notice flight attendants spraying something nearby, it might be a good idea to put on some socks or deodorant, as cabin crew usually won’t address the issue directly, according to Mary.
With air travel on the rise, how can we coexist peacefully with fellow passengers?
The key is for everyone to be considerate, says Mr. Hanson. “If you can’t adjust your behavior to get along with others, then there’s something off about that, to be blunt.”
